catcher of ray

Friday, November 11, 2005

Wondering with a clue...

Sitting in the computer lab with the AC in full speed and freezing to death, i am wondering what am I still doing here. I should be worrying about how to reach home in the heaving rain that has engulfed the city...wading through the dirty water that is floating on the road due to clogged drains. (a typical monsoon sight in all Indian cities.) In addition to this i have a more daunting task of preparing a page for my college newspaper...

I should be getting going but what would i do going home besides staring at the empty walls and dull decore of the room!

I don't know what motivated me to create this blog but whatever it is is soon loosing its sheen. Maybe at some other period...in future i may get more excited and interested in blogging...

still wondering without a clue.... i leave the thinking process incomplete...dangling in the air...

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Am I alone...

sorry for the previous incomplete blog... i accidently or out of habit saved the stuff...

anyways, i was saying that i have often experienced being left alone by people whom i considered friends. Perhaps i am just blowing mountain out of a mole hill but i couldn't help thinking about it today. I am feeling miserable and don't know how to cheer myself up.

Sometimes i think that some of us in the entire population of the world are born to be loners. its unfair but who said life was always fair. Due to my dad's tranferable job, i could never form a permanent friendship. Every two years, it was new locality, new school, new people...err...friends. By the time i got close to a friend, it was time to pack the bags n move on. I hated it...but a kid never has any say on these matters...afterall its my dad's work. Finally, we settled in Bombay (i don't like its present baptised Mumbai so i stick by the old name).

I love my city, even though it is overcrowded, filthy, hectic and so on. It has its own charm. So now you would think that at last my travels have come to an end. But the answer is no, negative, nada. Staying in the same surburb, i shifted twice. This also passed on to my college, where i did my junior college in one college and degree from another.

After graduation, i felt ok so now there is no chance of me going anywhere. Now i will have be staying in the same house for more than two years and i won't have to again adjust myself to a new environment. But how wrong was i. For my Post Graduation, i got admission in a college in Chennai. I had a choice of taking the admission, but did i reject the admission call... no. After traveling like a nomad for so long, i realised that i have become used to it. Gosh! that was a terrible encounter with the truth. The truth which i denied accepting. I realised that i sort of enjoyed getting away, running away from situations before they became ugly. And then the decision was made to study in chennai for a year. Maybe, this was also influencial in my choosing a career in journalism and my love for traveling and exploring new places. So i have given up hope that i would be able to stay in any place for more than 3 years.

However, this love for traveling comes with a price. The price had to pay and may have to pay for years to come is being alone and become friend of myself...
Am I alone...

Sometimes I think that i was born to be a loner. Maybe i am overreacting, but i often have experienced myself being left out from

Thursday, September 08, 2005

After toiling for months and indulging in heavy duty hard work i finally managed to get admission into the college of my choice. On June 21st night, i logged into my e-mail account from my dad's laptop. I was praying really hard...then the inbox popped out on the screen and my heart skipped a beat. There lying in the inbox was a mail from the college registrar. I quickly opened it and found that i had been selected in the stream i wanted i.e. print. i could not believe my eyes. It was one of the most memorable days of my life.

Two months down the course timeline, i am still energetic but covered till the nose with assignments and projects. People from all over the country have be admitted and there is immense competition. I am afraid some of it is not healthy atall. Each one aspires to outdo the other... instead of realising that we can actually learn from each other as we have the advantage of people coming from different background.

It seems ages... i had heard my friends who staying alone in other cities complaining and wining about how they missed home cooked food, family and company. I never could understand why they complained so much because i was living in a protective environment. However, now i can understand their perspective.

I do not have any problems with lack of company; thankfully my aunt stays in the same city. The food though is a factor, which gives me heartburns. But i am optimistic (quiet contrary to my pessimistic nature) and hope that i will be able to conquer this problem soon.

As for the stay in chennai, i am still exploring the city and what it can give me....